I am…

In the immediacy of daily life what  keeps me motivated, happy, and free (most of the time) is the awareness of  the need to control others, particular if I am stressed, tired and or anxious….

Healing  toxic relationship dynamic (co-dependency)  necessitates  being vulnerable, building ego strengths and healthy boundaries to become your own “excavator of the psyche”  is in the unravelling process –  from being what the Sufi’s terms as “being tightly wrapped” requires  a commitment to longterm therapy, meditation and yoga……to reclaim what was shutdown by trauma to trusting yourself in the  journey to authenticity.

Having a stepson come into my life 14 years ago  changed my thinking and assumption of parenting. I needed to go deep into my inner resources and reawaken effortless grace and patience…

I am an alpha babe who can overthink everything, I was addicted to my narrative for a long time in my early recovery, today the narrative is a mirror of my experiences, simpler, succinct and compassionate…

My self care regime is simple: Sleep. Eat. Meditate. Exercise. Upon awakening my mind is trained to   engage  in mindfulness to slow down a lifelong habit of overthinking, reactivity and impatience…ergo ease   into a neutral mindset is a combination of  self-compassion, and self forgiveness…

I have learned the value in letting go…and slowing down…now in my mid 60’s it easier to restore calmness, compassionate self care and ease into stillness – bliss!

Effort and grace engenders being  compassionately curious about  others…no longer judgemental and disempowering are skills that serve me well in my  work as an Addiction Therapist specialising in treating complex  trauma therapy.

Healing intense feelings of helplessness and helplessness can begin with engaging in  holistic therapy to inspire awareness and change. I suggest  hypnotherapy,  somatic experiencing, yoga and meditation.


12step  recovery communities embraced holistic therapies many years ago…and I recommend people new to recovery seek  people who have long term recovery, experience/commitment  in their personal therapy,  because the benefits of going beyond addiction recovery social constructs is where you will want to heading…

If nothing changes, thing changes… Internationally recognised as a leader, influencer and expert in addiction:   Dr Gabor Maté’s topical youtube  tutorials can support  your biospychosocial recovery…his talk contains the elements of therapeutic safety, permission and potency to find your way through the complex  layers of addiction and mental healthcare.



Sounds of Silence…


“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

This gorgeous Olive Tree continues to thrive in the grounds of Pont Du Gard.  Leaving the chaos of urban living behind us, we travelled to visit the ancient aqueduct and marvel in the sophistication of Roman visionaries, design and engineering – we entered in the silent realms  of ancient times   beneath our feet.

Since it became a tourist destination, many novelists and writers have visited the Pont du Gard and written of the experience. Jean-Jacques Rousseau was overwhelmed when he first visited it in 1738:

‘I had been told to go and see the Pont du Gard; I did not fail to do so. It was the first work of the Romans that I had seen. I expected to see a monument worthy of the hands which had constructed it. This time the object surpassed my expectation, for the only time in my life. Only the Romans could have produced such an effect. The sight of this simple and noble work struck me all the more since it is in the middle of a wilderness where silence and solitude render the object more striking and the admiration more lively; for this so-called bridge was only an aqueduct.

One asks oneself what force has transported these enormous stones so far from any quarry, and what brought together the arms of so many thousands of men in a place where none of them live. I wandered about the three storeys of this superb edifice although my respect for it almost kept me from daring to trample it underfoot.

The echo of my footsteps under these immense vaults made me imagine that I heard the strong voices of those who had built them. I felt myself lost like an insect in that immensity. While making myself small, I felt an indefinable something that raised up my soul, and I said to myself with a sigh, “Why was I not born a Roman!”



When we accept that our inner feeling states exist in a state of generativity, we are able to trust…

 The ancient but perfect science of meditation engenders  the evolution of the mind. It includes all aspects of one’s being, from bodily health to self-realization. The term mindful is to be intentional and conscientious in what we think and feel, spontaneously open and creative to unfolding opportunities possibilities.


At the heart of addiction are suppressed painful emotional states.   Meditation  brings about changes in within the brains complex circuitry systems, ergo a  greater acceptance of  peole, places and things… the ability to cultivate a state of being that is compassionately non-judgemental.


Addiction according to the American Society of Addiction Medicine: “Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviours.

The original Sanskrit term for enlightenment “moksha” translates as “liberation’ which means freedom from suffering, pain, illusion, The task  in personal recovery management is to continue to be motivated to be present…consciously living consciously…

• Self-awareness: The ability to identify your emotions and understand their impact, using feelings intuitively as a basis for decision-making.

• Social awareness: The ability to discern, detect, and act appropriately in accordance with other people’s emotions.

• Self-regulating: In  control your own emotions, responses and impulses, and continously  adapting  to changes as they arise in situations beyond our control.

The degree to which a person is perceived as being self-aware, straightforward and in control of themselves and the situation is closely correlated to the perception of his or her capabilities. This is especially true of transformational longer-term recovery strategies.





“There are, as well, ways to describe the manifestation of two therapeutic ideals: no excess tension in the body and a neutral reaction to symbolic associations and mental representations of trauma.” Strengthening My Recovery: Meditations for Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families


In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty . . . in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.

To be in flow  is to know the changeless:
to know the changeless is to have insight.
Things in harmony with life  remain;
 people, places and or things that are forced are not sustainable.

Trust the process. I am open to allowing what needs to happen. I trust there is a greater power than myself at work in this situation. I relax and let go of  fear, an unconscious need to be in control of myself, the situation and you.



Always we hope
someone else has the answer,
some other place will be better,
some other time,
it will all turn out.

This is it.

No one else has the answer,
no other place will be better,
and it has already turned out.

At the center of your being,
you have the answer:
you know who you are and
you know what you want.

There is no need to run outside
for better seeing,
nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being:
for the more you leave it,
the less you learn.

Search your heart and see
the way to do is to be.

Abide at the center of your being.

~Lao Tzu



Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter.
If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things,
this is the best season of your life.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary.

The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

~ Franz Kafka




Stress and Anxiety: The Root of all Disease

Making the time to destress is easy when you now how…and  difficult if you  struggle with  switching  off because you can’t let go of overthinking…

Mental creation always precedes physical creation. Before a building is physically constructed, there’s a blueprint.

Your thoughts are the blueprint of the life you are building one day at a time. When you learn to channel your thinking — both consciously and subconsciously — you create the conditions that make the achievement of your goals inevitable.

You are the designer of your destiny. Awaken your hero archetype to claim your individual leadership style.

Be Well Balanced:

Meditation brings into alignment  the psyche  and soul by anchoring our personal integrity wit calmness, confidence and commitment to doing our best in  in all encounters, endeavours, and enterprises.

Be in Community:

Conscious communication is being seen, heard and valued with in the our community.  We can’t photoshop our persona, ergo I want to be the best version of me, all the time…no perfect…rigid and negatively controlling. I choose to be non-reactive, tasing and patient, in control and capable but this only happens when I am present. If I drift onto into the future this creates anxiety or I fall back into the past I can become depressed.

The key is to let go of expectations of others and of myself…life is challenging enough without my dips in thriving fuelling insecurity/neediness/not-enoughness etc… toxic temper tantrums hijack others peoples reality and my bitch face is not pretty….

Meditation is a  discipline that eliminates external distraction….  An internal focus. Whatever  I am doing I want to do that task with love, with present moment and then I can do my best…

Clarity: A consistent meditation practice, awakens awareness between our external and internal experience.

With greater balance through meditation we are able to expand our awareness and be more present in the moment to whatever is happening in our lives.





“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration“

— Nikola Tesla —

Music at a frequency of 432Hz can reduce stress, boost resilience, and restore optimal  wellbeing, equanimity, and equipoise.

Physical and mental agitation,  is  unsettling….disconection creates a felt sense of separation from self and others…too much   outer stimulus and noise and not enough down-time dedicated  to self care,  prevents us from achieving  harmony. Sound has a way of helping us get to the source of this inner peace we all desire.

I recommend listening to Denise Leicester’s “Soul Medicine” vibrational remedies to go deeper into your current mediation, yoga etc practices.

Soul Medicine is the heartfelt work of yogi and sound healer Denise Leicester . Her collaboration with Tom Simenauer is intended to promote a next generation science based music medium, one which is easily used in the everyday to promote greater wellbeing and cellular balance simply through listening.

Go to:  https://www.soulmedicine.me/about to order/download Love  Tracks (£20) a playlist designed to shift  energy blocks/inner feeling states from fear to self-compassionate courage.

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