I CREATE MY REALITY

To be truly in the moment is in the understanding that you create your reality, no-one can make you a victim without your permission.

CONSTANT CRAVINGS:

Wanting someone to rescue me led to  my downfall,  co-dependency upon a person, place or thing to fix me…

GO DEEP:

I am in longterm recovery (30 years) from addiction to vodka, valium and cocaine. If can stop and stay stopped… so can you. I  continued to ask for help, and did not settle until I had  found a wellspring of  appropriate therapists to  go through the process of existential healing…

My complex family constellation…secrets, betrayal, abandonment, abuse and alienation hallmarked by massive resistance to change, look ash themselves or support one each other so I went through the process of family therapy alone…and recovered alone…

My family of creation also has it challenges but the flow of love is a constant… the dynamics of addiction are difficult for anyone to empathise with….thus the isolation aspect of addiction can be very triggering…seeing the recovery from active addiction as  organic, a  process is hugely beneficial…every day is different…contrary to active addiction where every day is a new fresh hell….

I learned from how to stop sabotaging and start loving myself…the journey continues and my life is  unstoppable…

I have worked hard to be aware of negativity,  selfishness, self seeking addictive behaviours I recognise as triggers, a  downward spiral into victim-speak: poor me, helpless and hopeless…

BREATHE:

Happiness is seeing the beauty in all of life…no longer filtered  though the lens of negativity…

BE YOU: Anyone who has the misfortune to be born into a family where there is  addiction in either parent will suffer from emotional, physical and spiritual neglect… my grandfather and father were alcoholics…who never found a recovery programme, tribe or community to being to that could support the complex stages of addiction treatment and recovery…their  suffering  was palpable…both were incredibly unhappy human beings…

Whether is your recovery has derivatives of evidence based addiction science and medicine (mine does) OR you have found your way via yoga, psychedelics, meditation or medication – recovery is totally individual – do what works for you to stabilise your mental wellbeing…one day at time, one experience at a time, one lifetime…

May you be happy.