My health improved and I began to thrive when I stopped using vodka, valium, nicotine and cocaine. A moment of clarity changed forever the illusion that escaping from reality was the solution to my pain, angst and unhappiness.
I am person in long term recovery. The foundation of my 30 plus years, lived experience began with an intervention by another person in longterm recovery. The admitting psychiatrist at a well known NYC mental health hospital whose assessment began with a leading question: “what are you willing to do to stop using addictively?”
The question shattered layers of denial….defence mechanisms built up to avoid reality, responsibility and recovery. I said I was willing to go to any lengths to be in recovery, stop the pain and start living.
Instead of being admitted, medicated and left alone….the psychiatrist spoke for a few minutes about what they had done to stop…I was relieved to hear that recovery works if you work it…and they recommended I return to the 12step fellowship, ask for help, get a sponsor and doing 90 meetings in 90 days.
I did. I surrendered to the illusion of being in control, stoped abandoning myself, took a leap of faith and began the journey of healing my soul from the hell on earth that is addiction…
….I began to trust myself, and allow others to help me…thus my humility kickstarted my recovery by letting go the illusion that I was alone, helpless and hopeless….